A Nuevo Southern Peach

A Week of Rest and Repose

2006-05-09T18:46:00.000-04:00

I am slowly but surely chipping away at receiving a bona fide college education. Well, usually I am - just not this week. That's right, it's vacation time baby! I have one week off before the summer semester starts and since I'm not working that means every day is a golden gift of free time. I have a few important things to tend to like securing a shiny new job and cleaning up my apartment for a soon approaching visit from my Grandma but other than that I am goofing off one hundred percent of the time.

One of my favorite activities of late has been sitting out on my balcony and catching up on some recreational reading. I don’t have quite enough time (or the funds) to travel but every book I pick up takes me to new and wonderful places. True, a lot of people are murdered in these places but I always manage to survive until the end. (Agatha Christie, John Grisham, Dan Brown, Clive Cussler and Mary Higgins Clark have been my most recent travel agents.)

I just finished On the Street Where You Live and while I enjoyed it immensely, I made the mistake of reading it late into the night while I was home alone. The basic premise is a woman who is being stalked and the discovery of a serial killer in the neighbored she just moved to. Ordinarily that's just the kind of over-the-top suspense that I enjoy but on a night when I can't deadbolt the door it's a little creepy. Sometimes I do not make good decisions. Oh well.

If everything continues in this delightful albeit somewhat lazy pattern, I will have a great vacation. Even as I type this I’m sitting on my roommate's incredibly comfortable papasan chair on the balcony enjoying the weather. It’s probably going to rain soon but I’m safe here under the overhang. I've been watching the neighborhood kids play and they’ve just learned how to shoot small sticks out of water guns. The fact that it’s dangerous only makes it more awesome. A lot of cute dogs and their nondescript owners were out walking but they’ve all gone inside now that wind is blowing stronger and clouds have made the sky gray. Being in the fresh air is nice and later in the week I plan on being more active since sunshine is predicted. For now I'm content and that's a nice feeling.

The Pointer Sisters would be proud

2006-05-08T19:26:00.000-04:00

My heart was filled with joy and laughter when Adult Swim added Saved By the Bell reruns to their April schedule. Now that time has come and gone and it has left me nostalgic for the kids of Bayside High and the days in which I looked to them as role models. Those were simpler times. Sure the show was campy and preachy but I didn't know any kid who didn't want to be at least one of the characters and date another. My sister is still in love with Mark Gosselaar. How could she not be?

One of the best parts of the reruns was the commercials that aired to promote them. Of course the network zeroed in on everyone's favorite episode "Jessie's Song" in which Jessie takes caffeine pills and freaks out. (I'm proud to say that I can recite more than a few lines of that episode as well as the dialogue from Zack and Kelly's breakup. What can I say, I love that show.) Watching that scene in slow-motion was both hilarious and awesome.

I’m pretty sure Jessie started some kind of trend because these days cold medicine is kept behind the counter. At Wal-Mart you have to take a card to the pharmacist and then show ID if you want a decongestant. Soon we won't be able to get Sudafed without bringing in snotty Kleenexes as proof that we won't be taking it just for the buzz. When I first watched the show I didn't know anyone who "did drugs" and I assumed I never would. Now that I've been through college I've seen everything from recreational users to serious addicts. The world is a different place than I thought it would be. One thing remains the same though. Screech is a loveable dork. You can’t argue with that.

Long time, no sea.

2006-05-08T17:21:00.000-04:00

I know that's a terrible pun. This is just my way apologizing for an unconscionably long absence. You can't be mad at Garfield right? Right.

A lot has changed for me since my last post, most notably my job. As in I don't have one right now. Hopefully that won't be the case for long and I'll be able rejoin the ranks of the gainfully employed with my head held high. Maybe I’ll get into some of the other changes later on. For now, let’s get on with the blogging.

I received this postcard from a dentist's office that was reminding me to make my next appointment. What it really reminded me of is how annoying I find puns. I know what you're thinking, "Wow, her first post in months and she's alienating the entire pun-loving population." I know it's risky but that's how much I don't like puns. Are they clever? Sure, sometimes. Do kids everywhere love them? The ones I know do. And yet puns irk me. They get under my skin in a creepy-crawly way. Maybe I was tormented by some punster at an early age. Maybe my genetic code is inherently intolerant of puns. Either way I’d rather have satire and sarcasm. Now that’s comedy you can sink your teeth into.

While I’m probably not in the majority I know I’m not alone. Think about every time you’ve heard a pun used in your social circle. A few people laugh, a few people groan, and everyone else waits in awkward silence for the moment to pass. Those are my people. Why can’t we even muster up a courtesy laugh? The truth is that we’re restraining ourselves. We’re just barely containing an outburst denouncing the use of puns in everyday life. But we choke down that urge in an effort to be polite. After all, it's our problem not yours.

So the next time you fashion a clever pun please be kind. Make it short and sweet and just say it once. We're already on the edge. Don't push us over.

Warm Fuzzies

2005-11-12T23:49:00.000-05:00

Are you too old for teddy bears but not quite ready to sleep alone? Do you wish deadly diseases could be more cuddly and approachable? The answer to all your troubles can be found in these stuffed animals from Giantmicrobes Inc. I've seen these little guys at a children's museum and at a doctor's offices and now they're available to take home. Who wouldn't want a fuzzy embodiment of bad breath or an ulcer? They make great conversation pieces.

Among the more extreme microbes offered are syphilis, black death, ebola, gonorrhea, and flesh eating virus with a little knife and fork embroidered on the front. How cute!

Remember, there's no better way to say, "Hey man, you should get tested."

It was as high as an elephant’s eye.

2005-11-10T18:57:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the absence but I've been quite ill. Other than a visit to the doctor I've just been resting and recuperating and taking a whole lot of pills. The most exciting thing in my week was VH1's special about Paris Hilton's most shocking moments. Yeah, that's hot.

Last weekend I went with Asmir to Cagle's Dairy for my annual Halloween trip to a corn maze. There's nothing like running around a maze in the dark to make you feel both young and old at the same time. I felt like a kid when we were taking wrong turns and trying to remember if we'd been through that patch of corn before. I felt like a grandma when I told some junior high girls that they were going to get in trouble for running and calling one of the workers fat. Sure enough they got kicked out a short while later. I tried to warn them but they wouldn't listen to their elders. Darn whippersnappers.

If you have a corn maze in your area, give it a try. They often have other activities like hay rides, bonfires, pumpkin patches and games. If you live in Georgia check out Uncle Shuck's corn maze in Dawsonville. On a few nights near Halloween the maze becomes haunted and you have to dodge ghosts and ghouls to escape the maze in tack. The spooky atmosphere makes it even more fun.

Well, if you haven't noticed by now I'll come out and say it. I love holidays. I'm a celebration-holic. I don't want help; I just want to convert others. Join me.

Holiday Extravaganza

2005-11-04T16:47:00.000-05:00

My office goes all out for the holidays. That works out well since I love to decorate and celebrate for any occasion. We share a building with a large cooperation and unfailing our neighbors trail down, peeking their heads in and asking if they can walk around and take a look. This Halloween desks were decorated, candy was in place and we dressed up. Anyone who has children is invited to bring them in to trick-or-treat and enjoy the festivities. Usually we have quite a few. This year we had one. One three year old spider man for all that candy. He was incredibly cute and made my day when he spent about 10 minutes trying to convince one of my co-workers to take off her pants. "It's ok you can just do. Do it, come on. Just take them off." His father must be so proud.

To make up for the small turn out we're going to start early on the Christmas decorating. Last year every desk was wrapped like a present and this year were going for a Winter Wonderland theme with lights and ornament. It's going to be crazy. I love it! I'm mentally going over the decorations I have at home and what I can steal from my parentss garage. No matter how far I go with the decorations here's one t-shirt I won't be wearing. How gross is that?

Magnet for Madness

2005-11-03T14:30:00.000-05:00

It appears that I and my car are magnets for all things wacky on the road. In addition to the usual terrible traffic and crazy drivers in Atlanta, lately I have been subject to a variety of road debris. I manage to avoid most of it. The mattresses, the trash bags, the blown tires and hubcaps are all easy to see and navigate around. Over the past few weeks however I've been bested by more than my fair share of road wreckage.

First there was a rise in the frequency of random pieces of junk passing under my car without incident. Then a few weeks ago there was a sheet of particle board on a freeway - I ran over it. Today it was some sort of fender in the fast lane on GA 400. Do to circumstances beyond my control I bumped it. Don't look down on me; the guy behind me bumped it too. The one that really drove me crazy was a plastic bucket. It was way over in the furthest right hand lane and everyone was driving around it. One truck didn't see it and nicked it sending it spiraling directly in front of my car. There was nothing I could do. It smacked right into the grill of my car. I flipped on my emergency lights and pulled over. The bucket was wedged right under my bumper! Luckily a tow truck stopped to see if I needed assistance and the man managed to pry the bucket out for me. My car appears to be fine although I'll have to check more thoroughly after today's incident.

I'm really not a bad driver. I'm not a professional and I do need glasses to read signs that are far away but I think I would do ok if it weren't for all the trash on the road. The sad thing is that sometimes I'll see the same mattress/trash bag/hubcap on the freeway in the same spot for two or three days before it gets cleaned up. Who loses a mattress and doesn't call someone to get it off the road? [Obviously Atlantans.]

Did I mention that I've also been cut off by three different eighteen wheelers? I know that's off topic but it's terrifying. Maybe I'll start taking the bus. Or Limos. Yeah, a limo sounds good. Is anyone out there willing to donate to the Cali Girl Limo fund? It would really help me out. If it I hit one more thing I may really freak out.

Sweet Dreams

2005-10-28T13:51:00.000-04:00

As the days get colder I find myself hunkering down under the blankets more and more. I wrap myself in a throw blanket while I watch TV and I climb under the covers to read or talk on the phone. It's delightful but a little tricky. You see, when I'm that cozy I often get sleepy. I've been know to drift away on the couch during movies and there have been plenty of times when I have had to put my book down because my eyes were just too heavy to keep open. That was never a problem for me as I love a good nap.

It's my new behavior that is a little troublesome. I've been drifting off in the middle of conversations. While on the phone and lying under the covers I closed my eyes and soon heard myself say, "No Mork, don't go in the water." I was speaking to the turtle I had begun to dream about. He was diving into a lake and after watching Invasion I wanted to warn him of what was out there. Oops. On the next occasion I was cuddling under the blankets with the Bosnian Boyfriend and we were talking about our days when I muttered, apropos of nothing, "I don't think you should get lasik." Of course neither of us had any idea what I was talking about. Oops again. Both occasions were late at night when I was already lacking sleep but that's no excuse for rude behavior. I've got to get a handle on this. I think I need to cast off my blankets and save them for bedtime. And movie time. Or when I have a good book. What? They're baby steps.

Why I never saw Jaws

2005-10-27T15:54:00.000-04:00

I don't know why but bodies of water and their inhabitants have been on my mind lately. Maybe it's because I've been watching Invasion or reading Swim at Your Own Risk. All of this has reminded me of a rather odd fear that I have. I'm afraid of sharks . . . in the swimming pool.

Let me clarify. I know there aren't sharks in there. It's impossible. How would one get in? Most sharks are salt water creatures anyway. Even if a fresh water shark did get into the pool, it couldn't survive in all that chlorine. If by some miracle a shark was living in the pool, I would see it before I got in. I know all this and yet sometimes when I'm swimming I'm overcome by the feeling that something no good is in the water and I have to get out IMMEDIATELY. It's ridiculous. But my twin sister has the same irrational fear.

We've decided that it must go back to our childhood when my grandparents had a house in Kent Woodlands (CA) with a pool. The floor of the pool was tiled and in the deep end there was an image of a blue dolphin. I don't remember being scared of the dolphin but I think that sometimes as we would swim we would see the creature unclearly through the water and that's what freaked us out.

I'm not paralyzed by this fear and I hardly ever get that creepy feeling anymore. It's just once in a while but when it hits I'm honestly terrified. Isn't that strange?

If something so small can affect my subconscious in such a dramatic way I wonder in what other ways my childhood has marked and molded me. There are probably a thousand small events to explain why I am the way I am if only I could realize or remember them.

Do you have any irrational fears (with or without explanations)? What quirks do you have than can be attributed to events from your early life? I shared mine, now it's your turn if you want to take it.

But Ron, how can one product do all that?!

2005-10-26T17:28:00.000-04:00

After a bout of insomnia last night I rediscovered a lost love. Infomercials. That's right, you heard correctly. I *love* infomercials. I love the cheesy salesmen and the over-the-top audience. I love the outrageous demonstrations and the skeptical volunteers. But mostly I love the useless products that I suddenly can't live without.

"I have a special offer for you today Jan. You'll get the Mr. Handy Juicer, the multi-purpose flashlight, the sandwich cutters, two sushi rollers, a lifetime supply of car wax, the eighty-seven piece tupperware set with interchangeable lids, the pasta maker, the hair extensions, the six Husky puppies and the authentic Amish butter churn for only eighteen payments of $33.33."

"All that for only eighteen payments of $33.33? Ron, you must be joking!"

"It's no joke Jan. and if you order now we'll throw in thirty-seven steak knives and my firstborn child FOR FREE. That's over a nineteen hundred dollar value!"

"Incredible! But how do I order?"

Ah, there's no better cure for boredom or a little late night restlessness. Last night I started halfway through a commercial for the Magic Bullet and by the time the Lauren Hutton's ad for her Face Disk was getting underway I was fast asleep on the couch.

Don't be fooled, infomercial watching is a dangerous sport. The gadgets are captivating and I often find myself wondering if I wouldn't be happier with my own rotisserie or buckets and buckets of multipurpose cleaning solution. I happen to own (through no fault of my own) both the Windsor Pilates full disk set and an original Revo Stlyer. In my defense, the Revo Styler was purchased at a Bed Bath and Beyond and not through the mail. I love both products and still use the Pilates DVDs although I tired of the Revo Styler after about a year and a half.

The moral of this story is watch and enjoy infomercials but don't let Ron sucker you. He's crafty.

2005-10-25T14:54:00.000-04:00

If you need a good, quick laugh check out this post.

A chill in the air

2005-10-25T14:25:00.000-04:00

Apparently fall has finally reached Atlanta. After last week's gorgeous weather (the temperature ranged from highs of 80 to 86) I woke up yesterday to an icy wind. I thought it would warm up during the day but it only got windier. Tonight the temperature will drop to the mid 30s. Oh well, we had a nice long run of warm weather. I happen to have a winter coat that I absolutely love (although my Bosnian Boyfriend refers to it as "that big-ass coat") and I'm excited to wear it again. I bought it when I first moved to Georgia a few years ago but I still get compliments on it. Yea! I've also become a big fan of scarves. Having previously lived in California I had never heard of freeze warnings or ice storms and I had never owned a scarf. Now I adore them and their delightful neck-warming ways. I have a bright red one with matching gloves that goes quite well with the aforementioned coat. Yesterday morning I was hoping the day would get warmer but now I can't wait for it to get colder. I suppose that's good since it is the end of October already. Now I just need to secure a pair of sexy boots and I'll be ready for whatever Mother Nature can throw at me. Bring on the ice storms!

Wait, how many milliliters are in a cup?

2005-10-24T14:22:00.000-04:00

You know how it is when it's late at night and the conversation begins to wander. You end up talking about the craziest things and no one knows how you got onto that topic. That was the situation on Friday night after a late viewing of Serenity. Somehow we ended up in a heated conversation about America and the metric system. Americans and Eastern Europeans agreed, base ten is just easier. If we switched now it wouldn't be so horrible and our society wouldn't crumble. The pros definitely outweigh the cons.

Pros: Most items for sale are already marked with both English and Metrics measurement. Entering the scientific field would be less daunting for many people. You could do conversions in your head!

Cons: Most of us would have to buy new dry measuring cups. For a while parents might have trouble helping kids with their homework .

As you can see, it's mostly just stubbornness that keeps us doing what we've always done.

My sister Abby summed up our argument with this gem. "What's twelve times thirty? Fuck if I know. What's ten times thirty? [Whole car in unison] "Three hundred."

FYI: Tears are not a good present.

2005-10-21T15:50:00.000-04:00

So yesterday an ex-boyfriend of one of my co-workers totally made her cry. . . at work. . . on her birthday! Jackass much?

Note to men: If a relationship ends badly, we probably don't want to be friends. Sure, after some time has passed it might be a possibility but for it to work (and I must stress this) you can't be a jackass. I know a birthday seems like the right time to call. If you’re pleasant and congratulatory it might be the beginning of rebuilding the friendship. If you force your ex to rehash the breakup, it's just a bad idea and you have fallen into jackass territory.

Here are a few other moves that will brand you as a jackass.

The Emotional Fake out - A woman tells you she's not ready for a serious relationship because she doesn't want to get hurt. You talk her into becoming exclusive and break up with her a week latter.
The Last-Minute Ditch - You cancel longstanding or important plans at the last minute on a whim.
The Hallmark Hater - You forget (or don't care about) birthdays and anniversaries when you're in a long term relationship. They're important to us. Just pretend for one day that you care.
The Cheating Liar - You tell your significant other that you want to slow down when what you really want is to sleep with someone else and not have her find out.
The Ultimate Jackass - You want out of a relationship but don't want anyone to get "hurt" so you act like a jerk until she breaks up with you.

Unfortunately these are all things that have happened to women I know. Don't get me wrong, I could make another list of wonderful things that non-jackass men have done for the women in their lives. Just not today.

Boo. (Not the scary kind)

2005-10-20T17:28:00.000-04:00

I wrote this post a while ago but I waited to publish it so as to protect everyone’s anonymity. One of the great things about online diaries and blogs is that you can write whatever you want and be relatively free of judgment. (If of course you filter your comments). It's in that spirit that I post this.

I was checking out a new web site and it seemed pretty interesting. The author had something to say and she said it well. Towards the end of the page however I read something that I recognized but I couldn't remember where I had seen it before. Not just a quote but at least ten paragraphs that I knew I had read somewhere previously. I checked the comments on the site and saw that she owned up to not being the author, but she was unapologetic about having used someone else’s work in a venue where it would clearly be thought of as her own. She claimed to have rewritten the article but really only a few names and sentences were changed at all.

The whole thing bothers me because the author of the original article is quite good and may be trying to make a living through writing. It's wonderful to have something you wrote published, and it's equally as upsetting to have someone else get credit for anything that you put your time and energy into. I have to wonder why she didn't feel badly about using someone else's work. What she did is the definition of plagiarism, which can be illegal. In her defense, I'm it may have simply been a lapse in judgment since she wasn't publishing the writing or making any money from it. I don't want to defame her or discredit her other writing which is why I'm not naming her site.

The internet has raised so my property rights issues that this may be the least of anyone's problems. It does sadden me a bit because I immediately flashed back to every middle school, high school, and college class where a teacher or professor spent a lot of time convincing us how immoral it was to present someone else's writing as out own. I guess this writer was absent on those days.

Userpers!

2005-10-18T15:50:00.000-04:00

Are my eyes deceiving me? I think I just saw Cinderella and her beloved fairy Godmother in an ad for the Swiffer Wet Jet. Another part of my childhood just slipped through the cracks and became part of mass commercialism.

The ad isn't even logical. Cinderella never would have had a wet jet and here's why. Her stepmother (Lady Tremaine) made her do rough chores out of spite. The wicked woman hated that Cinderella was more beautiful than her stepsisters and wouldn't have given her something to make the tasks easier. When Cinderella made a wish it wasn't to get out of the chores, it was to have someone love her like when her father was alive. She wouldn't have been happy working as a drudge in her stepmother's kitchen even if she had a wet jet. ~Sigh~ I should write a scathing letter to Procter & Gamble.

Walt Disney must be turning in his grave - or rotating in his cryogenic chamber.

Updos and let downs

2005-10-18T15:29:00.000-04:00

My weekend was full of celebrations, some low key and some rather fancy. On Saturday I attended the wedding of two friends in a gorgeous church in Atlanta. It was a fun event and I enjoyed telling the story of how they were set up. It was nice to talk to a group of people that I haven't seen recently. We are planning a reunion but with new marriages, new jobs and new homes it’s hard to get together sometimes.

I had driven to the wedding with my sister and ended up staying the night at her on-campus apartment. There’s *always* something going on there no mater what time of night it is. Even as I was going to bed her boyfriend was leaving for yet another keg party. It sounds fun but sometimes I just can’t keep up. Needless to say, when I woke up at 8:30 everyone else was still fast asleep.

Friday and Sunday nights were spent celebrating Asmir’s birthday. Since I wasn’t expecting him on Friday I hadn’t wrapped his present yet. He sat on the couch and watched football while I made a fort out of pillows so he couldn’t what I was wrapping. After all my hard work he tore through the paper in about two seconds and the celebrating continued. Since he is still fasting we stayed in both nights but I think a good time was had by all. In an unfortunate turn of events, both Kroger and Publix were out of the cinnamon muffin mix that I've raved about. I was going to make them instead of a cake and put them in the shape of his age. Now I'm wondering if I should have kept them a secret. Perhaps you all went out bought so many packs that all the stores have run out. Thanks a lot. Way to ruin my plans.

All in all it was a good weekend with plenty of cake. I got to wear a fancy dress and have fancy hair and I got to enjoy the fall weather with people I care about. What could be better than that?

Sixteen and counting

2005-10-14T14:59:00.000-04:00

Yowza. That's the only word I can think of to describe my feelings when I read this article. My paternal Grandma had eight children, each about a year apart. That seems like a big family to me but the Duggars topped them. By a lot. Even my dad admits that things could be crazy at times. Once all the kids were born they had to take two cars for family vacations, even though one car was a station wagon. Meals were a race to eat what you could before the other kids ate it all. Of course there are always good things about having a big family and that's what most of the stories I hear from my aunts and uncle are about.

In some ways my dad's upbringing worked out great for me. He had six sisters and only one brother. They all shared one bathroom. To this day he never leaves the seat up. Never. Hilariously, he often washes his face and brushes his teeth in the kitchen sink because that's what he did while growing up if someone else was using the bathroom. We weren't supposed to tell my mom about that but I have a sneaking suspicion that she knew.

This story is truly a testament to the restorative powers of the human body. It's a miracle that Michelle can still walk much less . . . you know . . ."visit the stork".

There are a lot of questions I would like to ask the Duggars. With fifteen kids in the house when did they find time to make the sixteenth? How do they do they dole out the chores? The older kids must be helping a lot to keep the household running. Do they get bulk rates for groceries? How do they celebrate birthdays? Even counting the twins they could still be having one birthday about every three and a half weeks. What about Christmas? Do they draw names or forego exchanging gifts all together? I'd like to be at the Duggar's home for Mothers’ Day. That woman must be worth her weight in macaroni necklaces and paper towel roll bouquets.

One last thought: Imagine the grandkids this couple will have, especially if their children follow in their reproductive footsteps. Yowza.

So The Internet says, so it must be

2005-10-12T16:18:00.000-04:00

Sometimes in life we don't know exactly what we are looking for. Of course the wisest thing to do is let the The Internet be our guide. Here's what it told me.

According to Google:

I need protection. (From who?)
I need a pacifier. (Do they make flavored ones?)
I need to marry a rich man and fast. (Thanks mom!)
I need to get a jet red lipstick & put it on immediately. (Too bad I don't have one in my purse.)
I need freedom and flexibility to manage many users with diverse needs. (I love managing users.)
I need a new agent. (Tell me about it. My sister and I could have been Ashley and Mary Kate.)
I need to know if Mortimer has anything on me to force me to return the estate. (Damn that Mortimer! He was always against me.)

Google is the new magic-8 ball. If you want to give it a shake try typing "[your name] needs" in the search box and see what you come up with. Sometimes it's better than the advice I give myself.

Ouch.

2005-10-11T16:07:00.000-04:00

Click the comic for a more readable image.

Just say no to jigs.

2005-10-11T15:56:00.000-04:00

I don't have any overwhelming feelings about Ashlee Simpson or her music. I don't love her or hate her or even think about her that much. With that said, I recorded her second Saturday Night Live appearance this weekend hoping that she would mess up and humiliate herself anew. I knew the chances were slim and that she probably planned on singing for herself this time but still I hoped.

Why am I so malevolent? I'm really not sure. Maybe I'm jealous that she's young, pretty and rich. Maybe I need to see other people fail to feel better about my own failures. Maybe I thought it was funny the first time and wanted another good laugh.

Nothing out of the ordinary happened and I found myself fondly remembering the days when I watched SNL to enjoy the skits, not a guest star's humiliation. A few years ago when I realized that I fast-forward through most of the show I just stopped watching. What's was the point? I still enjoy Weekend Update but it seems silly to watch a ninety minute show for a ten minute segment. We have The Daily Show now. I moved on.

Sure, SNL has turned out a lot of stars but I haven't laughed out loud while watching it since Will Ferrell screamed for more cowbell. Lorn Michaels and his team still seem to have a lot of pull though; maybe they'll revamp the show to make it worth staying home for again. I'd settle for not wanting to skip every skit after the first two minutes. At least we'll always have our "Best of" DVDs.

A battle of witts.

2005-10-11T14:53:00.000-04:00

A night out at the movies with Anna turned out to be a night of driving around and a dvd viewing at my place. It was tons of fun though and we accomplished our goal of eating Chili's Quesadilla Explosion Salads. Usually I'm not one to get a salad if I'm going to bother to go out to eat but these are not ordinary salads. For one thing, the salad is topped with four slices of quesadilla. That already trumps any salad I've every had. Add about a quarter pound of other ingredients and just enough lettuce to legitimize the "salad" claim and that was my diner. It was delicious. (At this point I'm wondering how many of my posts revolve around food. I should probably check into that/get help.)

Later that night Anna suggested that people should
but I countered that .

We're in a deadlock. What do you think?

Can I take your order?

2005-10-08T18:21:00.000-04:00

I just had a food-gasm. We all know that The Colonel puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes you crave it fortnightly (tm Stuart MacKenzie), but I think some exec at Taco Bell stole the formula and is using too. I haven't had Taco Bell in almost a year but one smell of my roommate's taco sent me dashing across the street for some of the same. I know nothing sold there contains a single ingredient found in nature but I couldn't resist. Bonus: I spent less than three bucks for an entire dinner. It was delicious. I regret nothing. Let us never speak of this again.

The start of a crazy weekend

2005-10-07T16:05:00.000-04:00

I have big Friday night plans. Try not to be jealous. It will be tough but try and keep it together. Ok, here goes. Asmir (the Bosnian boyfriend) and I are going to stop by the store for "ingredients" and then make cinnamon and blueberry muffins. It's gonna be wild and crazy. *Sigh* You're jealous. I knew this would happen.

Actually, he's been working hard and fasting this week so we're just going to take it easy. We're both broke and we've seen enough movies lately so a night in is in order. It was his idea to bake; he really likes cinnamon muffins. I think he has some other activities planned but they won't be posted here. (I'd probably get a lot more readers if they were.)

Seriously though, if you like fresh baked goods without the effort of baking or the expense of a bakery get Martha White muffin mixes. They're inexpensive and all you do is add milk or water and then bake for about fifteen minutes. The muffins are sooo good. They're especially yummy the morning after an actual wild night.

Get Squished

2005-10-07T15:48:00.000-04:00

No, I'm not talking about squeezing into last year's jeans although that is a related topic.

Today my office celebrated Lee National Denim Day. Everyone who made a five dollar donation to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation got to wear jeans to work, a treat we seldom get to enjoy. Since it's the tenth anniversary of the event we agreed to up the donations to ten dollars apiece. Not everyone in our office participates but enough people do that the foundation ends up with a nice little chunk of change. The best part is watching brokers who usually wear suits and ties come up with a work appropriate outfit involving jeans. One gentleman in our office wears black pants, a white shirt, and a tie every day. He says it's the only way he knows that all his clothes match. When he wears jeans he pairs them with a white polo shirt; at least he's trying.

You may be aware that October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. In an interesting effort to promote awareness, Katie Couric underwent a mammogram and had it shown on the air this week. You can check out the footage on the Today Show's homepage. Apparently she did the same thing in 2000 with an on-air colonoscopy and the nation's testing average jumped twenty percent that year. Kudos to her. She's a braver woman than I am.

You already know the moral of the story. Ladies: 1.) Self-check monthly 2.) Don't skip your yearly checkup. Men: encourage the woman in your life to do those things. It's worth it. That concludes this week's PSA.

A History of Vacation

2005-10-05T15:56:00.000-04:00

I just found out that my office will be closed on Monday for Columbus Day. I'm so excited! I still have class in the morning but there will be no hour long commute afterwards. I won't have to dress up or deal with clients. Hurrah for Columbus and his misguided belief that he found the East Indies. He saved many of us in the US from yet another Monday.

Here's a little unreliable internet-aquired history about Columbus Day. Apparently Rodrigo de Triana, a sailor aboard the Pinta, first sighted land on October 12, 1492 giving us the general date of the holiday. Columbus had landed in the Bahamas and thus claimed them for Spain. 300 years later a ceremony was held in New York City to honor Columbus himself and in 1866 the Italian population of New York celebrated the "discovery" of America. Three years later Italians in San Francisco started calling the celebration Columbus Day. In 1892 the 400th anniversary was celebrated by the entire nation according to the proclamation of President Benjamin Harrison. Since 1920 it has been celebrated annually and in 1971 Congress declared a federal public holiday on every second Monday in October.

Whew, that's a lot of history. Of course if you object to Columbus Day for any reason you can alternatively celebrate Indigenous Peoples Day. They're responsible for introducing hammocks and chocolate to the entire westernized world. That's definitely a reason to celebrate. No matter what you chose do next Monday, I won't be going to work. And that rocks.

And you thought your man had mother issues

2005-10-04T15:28:00.000-04:00

Tradition says to watch how a man treats his mother if you want to know how he will treat you. This guy was a clingy son. I think Mrs. Gafoor took the hint and got out in time.

I'm finally catching up to the grocery stores.

2005-10-04T15:13:00.000-04:00

I can't wait any longer. Today I'm going to break out my Halloween decorations. I should probably do the dishes first thus replacing one giant mess with another. My roommate brought out a ceramic pumpkin full of M&Ms and it inspired me. More accurately, the pumpkin is now empty and we are full of M&Ms but I promise I'll buy more. I have a giant spider to hang from the walls and window clings that depict a creepy cemetery. I have some yard signs and lights but since I no longer have a back patio (I'm on the second floor now) I'm not sure what to do with them. My favorites are these plastic eyes with batteries that light up and blink on and off. I used to hide them in the bushes but you can also attach them to a window with suction cups. In the dark it looks like a creature is hiding and waiting to lay waste to its prey. Awesome. I like to carve pumpkins but I'm often too impatient and carve them so early that they droop by Halloween night. This year I'm determined not to let that happen. (Please don't hold these statements against me as I say that every year.)

I've noticed a decoration trend in many of the homes and apartments in this area of Georgia. For every occasion there is a flag that can be hung by the front door. College football teams seem to be the most popular theme but I've also seen flags for every holiday as well as the different seasons. I'd never seen them before I moved down here but at least a few houses in every neighborhood have them. Were they part of a "Welcome to Georgia" package that I missed out on? Were they sold in bulk and the neighbors just split them up? Sometimes I want one because they easily add holiday spirit but then I think they're a little to generic for my tastes. I guess I'll stick with what I already have. For now. I love holidays!

Mmm . . . violence

2005-10-03T15:04:00.000-04:00

On Friday I saw A History of Violence with my boyfriend and we had very different reactions to the movie. He was entranced and afterwards wanted to kick some ass just for the hell of it. I was seriously disturbed and wanted to hide under my bed with a baseball bat. I've always been a bit squeamish with violence of any kind and looking back this movie probably wasn't the best choice for me. Viggo Mortensen (and/or his stuntmen) displays some excellent moves but I missed a lot of them because I was covering my eyes and humming to drown out the sound of breaking bones and spurting blood. Let me tell you, this movie earned that R rating. A few years ago I'm sure that the first 20 minutes alone would have warranted an NC-17. I don't want to give anything away so I'll leave it at that. Oh, and Heidi Hayes has nice legs. (Check them out, you'll see.)

If you like nudity, graphic sexuality and strong, brutal violence (as my boyfriend does) this movie is for you. If this post is making you want to double lock your doors tonight come watch Disney's Cinderella with me. The DVD is being released tomorrow! (I know the step-mother is scary but we'll get through it together.

Arf arf!

2005-09-28T16:36:00.000-04:00

On top of being one of the youngest people in my office I look younger than I actually am. I work with some great people and this isn't usually a problem. Today however when I was able to provide a co-worker with some information she needed instead of a thank you she said "Good girl." I felt like I had rolled over and deserved a treat. ~Sigh

No no no no baby, no no no no, don't lie.

2005-09-28T15:21:00.000-04:00

I know it's been a while. I was out of commission for a few days and when I got back I wrote a long post that was promptly lost somewhere on the World Wide Web. I don't know where it has gone to, but it's not here. I don't have the heart to try and recreate it so I'll just move on.

In addition to an overflowing inbox some interesting calls awaited me upon my return to work. Here is the first.

Me: Good Afternoon Investo-co.
Scam Artist McThievery: Hi, can I speak with John? [We don't have a John so I assumed he had gotten the name wrong or was trying to call someone in a different office.]
Me: Do you know his last name sir?
SAM: No.
Me: Do you know what department he works in?
SAM: No, maybe it was Bob. [We don't have a Bob either.]
Me: Do you have an account here? I could look up your consultant in our system.
SAM: No, I just ask him for advice about things. Maybe you could read me some of the names of people who work there.
Me: If you give me your name I'm sure I can find out who it is.
SAM: No, I have to go. I'll call you back later. **Click**

I'll be waiting right by the phone for your call SAM.

In the financial industry people with dubious morals often call in fishing for information. SAM's ploy was pretty common and it's a general company policy not to give out employee information. Later that day I got a call that was even less likely to be fruitful. Maybe it was the gentleman's first time trying to elicit information.

Me: Good Afternoon, Investo-co.
Newbie: Hi, can I speak to the owner.
Me: We don't have an owner.
Newbie: Oh. **Click**

Why do they always hang up on me?

Mother of the Bride

2005-09-20T15:44:00.000-04:00

I attended a lingerie shower this weekend for a friend who is getting married next month. There was an appropriate amount of snacks and introductions before we got down to the good stuff. One of the guests thought it was a kitchen party and "accidentally" brought a bag full of plastic wrap, whipped cream, chocolate sauce, art supplies such as glow in the dark and glitter body paint, and a baggy of balloons and condoms (each for a different type of party). That broke the ice and things progressed from then. The soon to be Mrs. must have a special relationship with her mother because she didn't bat an eyelash as we all talked and joked about sex, specifically between her and her fiancé. Her mom even offered her the nightgown she had worn on her honeymoon with the bride-to-be's father. (The offer was declined.) The mother of the bride also tossed one of the gifts on the floor to see how it looked since that's where she said it should spend most of the time. Woohoo!

It was a lot of fun and everyone seemed to have a great time. I have to admit though that I would have been mortified had I been in the future bride's position. I just don't have that kind of relationship with my mom. I never had "the talk" with my parents and I still stick to my theory that they picked my sister and I up at the hospital where the stork dropped us off. (I suppose this is as good a time as any to mention that I am an identical twin.) There was an incident when we were thirteen and we wanted to have our ears pierced. I remember my mom erratically yelling about piercings being just the beginning and that you have to take your pants off in front of a boy if you want to have sex. She stormed off and that was the last we ever heard of it. Other than that I picked up everything up on the streets as God intended.

Isn't it ironic that many people consciously separate mothers from sex? One can't exist without the other. I don't know why but it's just yucky. I guess the bride-to-be had a narrow escape. One of her friends wanted to throw her a pleasure party. She had to draw the line somewhere.

The air was not so clear.

2005-09-20T15:02:00.000-04:00

Last week Al Roker and Kermit the frog reported as the weather turned ugly in one of my favorite neighborhoods. That's right, in a five episode arc a hurricane hit Sesame Street. Art Imitated life as Sesame Workshop (the nonprofit behind the show) made an effort to help children understand what happened on the Gulf Coast. Foremost among the reported damage was Big Bird's nest which was blown away. Bird was lucky and through the support of his Granny Bird and all his friends he had a place to stay while he was dislocated and his nest was rebuilt. Though these episodes first aired in 2001 it seemed like the right time to bring them back.

I know it's just pretend and real people are going through a lot worse right now. It might seem silly but I grew up watching these characters and I was honestly devastated when I first saw how scared and sad Big Bird was. At first Telly thought a hurricane would come again every time the wind blew. Of course the whole neighborhood banded together to rebuild and sunny days are once again sweeping the clouds away on Sesame Street. The rebuilding our nation has to do will take much more time and effort. At least Preschoolers affected by the recent tragedy will know that they're not alone.

My secret shame

2005-09-16T16:08:00.000-04:00

I'm hiding something today. It's not horrible but I'm not proud of it. I think it's better if I just put it out there. So here's the secret. I'm not sure how clean my skirt is and I know it doesn't match my blouse. As of this morning they were both crumpled in various piles on my closet floor. I know I've worn the blouse more than once and the skirt more times than I care to share. I sit behind a desk so I'm hoping that no one will notice, especially not the clients. They're sure to see that I have no makeup on and some might guess that I dried my hair by rolling down the windows as I drove. The good news is that my blouse looks respectable so if I can just make them believe that my professional attire extends below my desk I think I'll be ok.

Here's the background on my dirty little secret. My work schedule varies somewhat because I have to coordinate with my school schedule. This usually isn't a problem except that my schedule just changed to accommodate the fall semester. I don't have class on Fridays so this morning I enjoyed some lying around and TV watching before buckling down and deciding to work out. Forty minutes later I got this call:

Asmir: Hey, are you one your way to work?
Me: No, I don't work until 1:30
Asmir: I thought you went in early today?
Me: No, not today. I'm just about to get ready for work.
Asmir: Ok, call me when you're driving.

I hung up just as my brain sprung into action to remind me that yes, I did work early today. There I was wearing grungy workout clothes and dripping with sweat. (TMI, I know.) To make it in time I would have to leave in 8 minutes. Somehow I managed to fit in a quick shower and I tried to throw on a work appropriate outfit. I didn't quite succeed but then I tend to panic in a crisis. No one has said anything to me (and some of the ladies here do like to tease) so maybe my secret is safe.

Please do me a favor. If you see a disheveled girl today at a formal place of business, act like she looks just fine. It's probably me.

Do you think Google will pay me for this?

2005-09-15T15:19:00.000-04:00

Have you heard about Google Talk? It mixes IM and voice messaging so that you can basically have a conversation with someone using a microphone and your computer's speakers. It has some other catchy features as well. Find out more about them here. It was unveiled on August 24 but I haven't had a chance to try it out because my laptop's speakers haven't been working. They're now being repaired and I think I'll give Google Talk a chance once they are fixed.

I know other companies have already introduced this technology but I'm growing quite fond of Google's offerings. I use Gmail and Google Maps primarily and I use Google News in addition to Yahoo News and other sources. I've tried the Desktop Search and it's good if you need that sort of thing.

If you've used it let me know what you think. If you haven't used it and would like to try out, you can find it here. You do have to have a Gmail log in to download the program. If you haven't been invited to try Gmail yet you can now sign up but you have to use your mobile phone number to do so. It's all free so try it and if you like it, keep it.

Man, I should get paid. That was an excellent endorsement.

A magical moment

2005-09-14T16:11:00.000-04:00

My boyfriend and I found out that we both like to watch Judging Amy on TNT if we're home during the day. I've only been watching on Fridays since I don't have class that day but today something wonderful happened. I got a shiny new DVR player! My mom lives about an hour away and since she had some other things to do in the area she kindly waited for the cable person for me. When I came home for lunch it was all set up. It really is shiny and it's so simple to use that I was able to set it up to record my show in about 30 seconds. I no longer have to choose between going out and the season finales of my favorite shows. I can watch crappy reruns on my time, not when the bigwig corporations tell me to. Of course I had to call Asmir and let him know the good news.

Me: Hi honey, guess what I'm doing right now.
Asmir: Recording Judging Amy?
Me: No . . . yes!

It was awesome.

Hurray! (Not really.)

2005-09-14T15:16:00.000-04:00

I fell *up* the stairs today. I was rushing to get to my car on the fourth level of a parking deck when my flip-flop flip-flopped and I bit the dust. I had a heavy bag on one shoulder and my keys were in my hand. Both fell. All I could say was "ough" as I caught myself with my palms. Bonus: I was wearing a skirt. I'm not sure if anyone noticed but no one said anything. I was quickly righted and made it to my car one bloody palm later.

Yes, this is plea for sympathy. I couldn't be more obvious if I had two or three cartoon band aids covering the tiny scratches on my hand. Don't you hate falling in public? Share my pain and I'll feel better. It'll be fun I promise!

Every little bit helps.

2005-09-13T15:52:00.000-04:00

My co-worker decided to auction off one of her son's finger paintings for charity. She thought they would get fifty dollars or so but the bidding is now in the hundreds. Check it out. 100% of the proceeds are going to the Red Cross to aid the victims of hurricane Katrina. Clay will probably be donating more than many adults by the time the auction is over. (Click the image for a larger picture. He's really cute.)

A few people have asked me, so I wanted to add that this auction is supported by MissionFish which ensures that 100% of the proceeds go to the charity designated. You can learn more about their guarantee here.

Ew

2005-09-13T15:44:00.000-04:00

Let me start by saying that I’m not usually a restroom snob. I drove across the country once and had to use a few questionable truck/rest stops. I went to Guadalajara, Mexico where some days the accommodations were a hole in the ground, a curtain for privacy and a bucket on the side for t.p. (The bucket was only there because our hosts knew that Americans were coming and that a few of us carried toilet paper rolls in our backpacks.) In those precarious situations you learn how keep yourself from touching anything and you move on.

With that said: my laptop is having a few problems so on my lunch break I took it to CompUSA where it’s under warranty. While I was there I stopped to use the restroom. There was a general feeling of grungy-ness but I thought I would be fine. Out of the four stalls one was out of order, two had broken locks and the last was for the handicapped. I try to avoid taking up handicapped areas when possible so I propped the door of one the normal stalls shut. Just then what should I see crawling dangerously close to my foot but a cockroach. It wasn’t even afraid of me! Of course I got out fast and did the hypochondriac thing where you scrub your hands well with soap and then use paper towels to turn off the water and open the door. On the back of the door was the usual sign saying to alert an employee if there’s a problem in the restroom. Here’s my quandary. Am I supposed to ask the man who’s tinkering with my computer to stop and come kill a bug in the ladies restroom? Should I find someone who looks like they’d land bathroom duty and ask them? Since I was on my way out I decided not to draw it to anyone’s attention. After all the bathroom wasn’t really dirty, it just didn’t feel clean.

I think it was the bug that grossed me out the most and I’ll admit that even I get the occasional cockroach in my apartment. If those little nasties freak you out too here’s a great recipe for killing them.

Grab a big can of raid, a paper towel and the hardest shoe you have. (Wooden soles are great. Hopefully you have some left over from when clogs were in style.) If you have to leave the room, try and have someone else keep an eye on the cockroach so it doesn’t escape.
Using the raid, direct the force of the spray to push the little bugger into a corner. The worst thing is for it to scamper away under a piece of furniture where you can’t get to it.
Continue blasting with raid until it slows down significantly.
By this time the roach should be disoriented enough for you to smash the heck out of it with the shoe. WARNING: If you attempt this on carpet there may be a yucky stain to clean later. I have only tired this technique on hard floors.
Use the paper towel to scoop up the remains and dispose of them. You can throw them in the trash but I prefer to flush them so the cockroach can’t come back from the dead to haunt me. If you prefer to flush, you might want to use t.p. as most sewer systems don’t handle paper towels very well.

Wow, this post really came full circle didn’t it? I don’t know if I’m proud or disgusted. Hopefully you’re a little of both.

Haute (or haughty) couture

2005-09-12T16:01:00.000-04:00

Nothing makes me want stuff more than looking at new, trendy and ridiculously over-priced accessories. It's somewhat paradoxical I know. Things that are the most expensive will be "in" for the least amount of time. That alone should turn me off to them. Yet something in me yearns for a bigger paycheck to spend on $14 hair ties and $200 purses.

As you might guess, I spent some time perusing boutiques this weekend in the Virginia Highland area. I went with a friend to buy some sunglasses and though the stock is diminishing as summer ends she managed to find a nice pair. I didn't buy anything thanks to a mixture of self control and having no money to spend.

Unfortunately I inherited a trait from my mom that can be somewhat of a downfall. If there's something I really want I convince myself to buy it and take the money out of my grocery allotment. It doesn't matter if the item costs ten times what I would spend on groceries; my instincts tell me to buy. Maybe scientists/technologists can narrow down that gene and remove it from my offspring so that my descendents won't be broke for generations to come. Or, maybe I'll win the lottery and expand my already enormous closet. It will have to be one or the other.

Nature: friend or foe?

2005-09-09T14:41:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm just full of thoughts (and extra time) today. Here's one of the most awesome things to happen to me all week: I saw a monarch butterfly yesterday! It was so close that it almost brushed against me as it was flying by. I used to see a lot of these beautiful creatures in California during the summer time, and of course I was always chasing them around as a kid. They migrate all over the country and apparently we are coming up on their peak time in Georgia. Their numbers will be the highest from the end of September through the middle of October. For those of you who like book learnin' I'm gonna lay some on you. Monarch butterflies only feed on milkweed plants. (The butterfly above is resting on a milkweed flower.) If you want to attract butterflies to your yard, you can create a Monarch Waystation by planting these flowers. The milkweed juices actually make the butterflies poisonous. That's right, back off birds.
Here's a monarch caterpillar. Yea for baby butterflies! To be honest, all caterpillars squick me out a little bit. That's ok though, it's probably better that humans don't touch them too much anyway.

To sum up, since I like butterflies I have deemed them "friend" - unless you are a predatory bird, which I am not. Case closed.

Curse you Caller ID!

2005-09-09T13:56:00.000-04:00

This was one of my first conversations at work today.

Me: Good afternoon, InvestoCo.*
Southern Man: I need to speak to Charlie -No, not Charlie. Someone else.
Me: [pause so he can tell me who he wants to speak with]
Southern Man: Hello? Can you help me?
Me: Yes sir, I'm just not sure who you're trying to reach.
SM: [unintelligible garbling noise] -Texas chopper.
Me: Texas Chopper? I'm not sure who that is.
SM: Is this a business?
Me: Yes sir, this is InvestoCo. Do you have an account here?
SM: Someone called me about motorcycle parts.
Me: Someone here may have called you but we have over fifty people in our office and I'm not sure who that would be.
SM: Oh my. *click*
Me: . . . ?

*The name has been changed to protect my employment.

We've come a long way

2005-09-08T14:13:00.000-04:00

I work for a rather large financial company. You may know that historically the financial industry in this country has been mostly run by Caucasian males. One of the things that impressed me when I was interviewing is that this company not only encourages women and minorities to enter this field but to reach management levels.

Some times it's easy to take for granted all the liberties we have in the U.S. I'm a twenty-something female with a steady job, a car, an apartment in my own name, the right to vote, and a college education. That's more than many men and woman around the world can boast. I was mulling that over today when I remembered this:

When I was in high school one of my P.E. teachers taught us to play stationary basketball. It's like the regular game but you have an assigned position that you stay in. You can pivot on one foot and that's it. You just stand there and pass the ball. Now why was she having us practice a game that involved so little exercise? Well, she wanted us to know that when she was in high school that's all the girls were allowed to play. The common thought back then was that running around would damage a woman's reproductive organs so the public schools had them standing still for fifty minutes of P.E. Hmmm.

Here's another anecdote I was reading about today. Did you know that when credit cards were becoming popular in the 70's most banks were denying women credit? Why? Because women can get pregnant and pregnant women can't work so all women were considered credit risks. Some banks would issue cards only after the applicants provided proof of sterilization. As if that's any of their business. Check out the article, "These Women Changed Your Life" in the September issue of Glamour to learn more about how Carole DeSaram fought to put an end to that discrimination

Well, we have certainly have come a long way. Let's keep up the good work.

Leisure Day

2005-09-06T16:29:00.000-04:00

Put away your white clothes; the last summer holiday has come and gone. I hope [P.] Diddy has something left in his closet.

I successfully avoided any form of labor or even heavy lifting over the three day weekend. My roommate had a birthday and there was cake and celebrating. Unfortunately for me, while she was camping, rafting, and horseback riding I was laying on my couch not feeling well and being grumpy. I also had homework. Yuck. But by Monday things were looking up and a cook out was arranged. I met some of my neighbors, played with a tiny kitten, and ate more hot dogs than I care to share. For dessert my Bosnian boyfriend taught me to microwave apple turnovers from Kroger. It was like a bakery opened up in my kitchen. One BBQ-er liked them so much he stopped by the store on the way home to get some for his house.

The highlight and fitting end to my weekend was listening to "Manic Monday" on the radio on the way to work today and realizing it wasn't Monday. It was Tuesday. Tuesday is almost Wednesday which is the middle of the week. Wednesday night is practically Thursday which is only one day away from the weekend. I hadn't even gone to work yet and my week was almost done. All is well in my little world.

"Have to catch an early train, got to be to work by nine
And if I had an air-o-plane, I still couldn't make it on time
'Cause it takes me so long just to figure out what I'm gonna wear
Blame it on the train but the boss is already there."
~ The Bangles

Goodbye Little Buddy

2005-09-06T16:00:00.000-04:00

The world has a lost a great comedian. Bob Denver, star of stage and screen, has passed away at the age of 70. Most people will recognize Denver as Gilligan of Gilligan's Island but a fortunate few still remember him as the wacky Maynard G. Krebs. If you were lucky enough to have TV in the late 50's (or Nick at Night in the late 80's) you might be familiar with The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis. Denver played a beatnik sidekick who hung around while the title character chased girls. Even back then Denver was a comedic scene stealer and I'm sure it was no surprise when he went on to headline his own show. He became and national icon and he will be missed. Of course the people who will mourn him the most are his family and friends. Our condolences, thoughts, and prayers go out to them today.

To watch or not to watch

2005-08-31T17:21:00.000-04:00

I like TV. One might say that I watch more than my fair share. While I'm not an expert I have had the chance to compare and contrast a lot of the shows out there. Now that the fall lineup is almost here, there are two shows everyone should be watching.

Kirsten Bell stars in Veronica Mars as the title character. The 25 year old actress couldn’t be more convincing as a high school student who struggles with her reputation at school and feeling like an outcast among her peers. This show isn’t just for teens though; it’s a great drama/comedy that appeals to all ages. Last season Veronica’s best friend was murdered, her longtime boyfriend dumped her with no explanation, her mother left her family, her father was fired in disgrace and she became entangled in a complicated relationship with the boy who used to date her murdered friend. Yeah, a lot goes on in this show. It exhibits quality far beyond what you would expect for such a young cast. The characters are sympathetic whether you agree with their actions or not. The critics seem to love it most people who tune in get hooked. Try it once and you probably will too.

Jason Bateman leads an all-star team of actors and actresses in what is easily the best comedy on television, Arrested Development. Bateman plays Michael Bluth, a widower trying to raise his son under some very trying circumstances. His father has been imprisoned and Michael is trying to keep the Bluth Company afloat despite the machinations of his unemployed family. While continuing plotlines involve a chicken dance, "hot cops" strippers, and a mother's affair with her husbands twin brother, this not your average madcap comedy. The scripts are well written and complex and the actors more than live up to the material. Those who tune in continuously are rewarded with great callback jokes in every episode. Ron Howard adds some great moments as the narrator and regular guests include Henry Winkler (the Fonz), Liza Minelli, and Carl Weathers. Anyone who watches regularly will tell you that this show can't be missed. If you only tune in to one show this fall make this one.

Tape them, Tivo them, stay home every Monday and Wednesday night if you have to but don’t miss two of the best shows on TV. Arrested Development premieres on Monday, September 19 at 8/7 central on FOX. Veronica Mars premiers on Wednesday, September 28 at 9/8 central on UPN. Seriously don’t miss these shows. I'll know if you do.

Katrina Katrina

2005-08-30T15:33:00.000-04:00

They're predicting that after the effects of Katrina, this summer will be the wettest summer in the recorded history of the Atlanta area. I've been complaining about the lack of sunshiny days but after the weather on the Gulf Coast this week I think I'll be quiet for a while.

I learned this morning that the company I work for used to have an office in Mississippi. I say used to because the building is now completely gone. Another office in Alabama was filled with six feet of water. Desks and files actually floated out of the building. Already today I've heard more stories than I can count of people who ignored the evacuation orders and ended up trapped in attics, on rooftops, or worse. I am grateful that I know where all my friends and family members are, and that they are all safe. I wish everyone else could have fared as well.

What would you take with you if 2 or 3 hours to pack and leave your home possibly forever? Pets, pictures, heirlooms, documents, jewelry, clothing?

If you'd like to help, the Federal Emergency Management Agency has listed these and other agencies as needing donations to help hurricane victims:

American Red Cross 1-800 HELP NOW
Salvation Army 1-800 SAL ARMY
Convoy of Hope 417-823-8998

Flashback to Flashdance

2005-08-27T11:00:00.000-04:00

Have you ever owned a pair of rainbow suspenders like Mork used to wear? Can you hum the theme song to Inspector Gadget right now? Did you envy really good break dancers? If you grew up in the 70's or 80's (or know someone who did) check out this site when you get a chance. If you're at work, be aware that some items on the list are nostalgic, but some are laugh out loud funny.

So if you ever puff painted your own shirt, called 867-5309, or really believed that little Mikey died from eating pop rocks and soda, then is for you.

Putting more "mmm" in M&M's

2005-08-26T15:28:00.000-04:00

You know how junk food is in America. We need the super sized meals, the king sized candy bars, and the big-grab bag of chips. I try to stay away from all those but sometimes it's just so hard. For instance, Mars Inc. recently introduced Mega M&M's. They're similar to regular M&M's but 55% bigger and with new colors. Yeah, I want that.

See, in my world big candy = good. I tried these fairly soon after I heard about their debut. I'm not too crazy about the new "adult" colors but once the candy is in your mouth you don't see them. And they're just so . . . chocolaty. It's like eating an M&M, but more. I was raised to believe that more chocolate is never a bad thing. So in my opinion, these still bite sized treats are worth a try. If it's too much for you, just eat half the bag. You can give the other half to me.

Warning: extreme girly content.

2005-08-23T13:48:00.000-04:00

Not suitable for all viewers.

They say you won't know someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. If you want to know me, go to Payless and get these:

Sure, the department stores lure me in at times. Yes, I stand at the window of fancy boutiques and gaze longingly at their selection. I've even asked a girl on the street where she got a particular pair of shoes and then hunted them down so that I could have them too. Yet somehow I always end up back at Payless. My Grandma used to call them "cheapy shoes" because they were so inexpensive. For a long time growing up it was the only place I knew of where you could get shoes. (Our town didn't have a Wal-Mart. It's ridiculous I know.) It's a great place to get trendy kicks because if they aren't "in" next season you're only out $9-$15. They have a fabulous selection right now and a buy one get one 1/2 off sale. You should really go. I wouldn't kid about shoes.

Home is where your chaise is.

2005-08-22T16:27:00.000-04:00

I moved to Marietta to make my commute a little easier. For those of you who live in the Atlanta area you know what the traffic like. If you don't, imagine driving to work through gallons and gallons* of liquid rubber cement. Now, grant four or five cars on the highway the power to zigzag in and out of lanes at speeds of 80-90 mph while the rest of you creep along. Throw in a few car crashes a day, lots of construction and police who constantly rock their blue lights for no apparent reason.

One of the upsides of my move north is that I have a new apartment that I really love. Here is a small picture of the pool with apartments in the background. I went apartment hunting at just the right time because my roommate and I are paying a lot less than what the apartments are going for now. A lot less. It's big and clean and pretty and has all the things I was looking for. I've been here for about two months now and I still have no complaints. Awesome.

The community within the apartment complex is much more diverse than other Metro Atlanta areas I've been to. At the pool I heard no less than three languages being spoken and that doesn't include English. It reminds me of California where for the most part people of different nationalities and from different cultures all live in the same neighborhood. The area I used to live in Georgia certainly wasn't like that. If there was anyone in the neighborhood who was anything other than Caucasian I never saw them.

Another upside is that the move coincided with my having enough money for some new furniture. I got a sofa and a chaise lounge from Rooms to Go that fit perfectly and that I'm really enjoying. I was supposed to get a cocktail table from the same company but two months later I'm still using an end table I borrowed from my parents. It's a whole saga that is too frustrating to write about now. Maybe I'll post about it when the ordeal has been resolved. For now, I'll just meditate on my chaise and the fact that I can lay down on it while my roommate lays on the couch. So comfortable...

*That translates to liters and liters if you want to use metric conversion. I don't want to alienate readers of any scientific or mathematical persuasion. Try this site for any type of conversion you could want.

Gah! Kelly Clarkson!!

2005-08-20T16:55:00.000-04:00

I saw 40 Year Old Virgin over the weekend and while I knew I was going to like the movie I didn't know I'd be so impressed with the plot. First of all, it actually had one. Since it's an Apatow Production I really should have seen that coming. The movie also portrayed a decent image of sex. It's not an after school special or anything but it has some nice moments. The most tender moment is probably between Andy (the title character) and his Aquaman figurine. Sure it was full of erection humor, there's more than one reference to goat f*©^ing Jayne Lynch is deliciously deviant as Paula, the manager at Smart Tech. She almost steals the scene when she works herself into a frenzy singing a Spanish love song, although throughout the movie I found myself expecting someone to tweak her.

I have to say, I have adored Seth Rogan since his days as Ken on Freaks and Geeks. His comedic timing is still great and he has a talent for making a character come off as innately likeable underneath his baggage. He also co-produced the movie thus solidifying the crush I have on him.

I wish there had been a little more screen time for Mooj and Haziz (Gerry Bednob and Shelley Malil). l know the theory is to always leave the audience wanting more, so I guess I should say "job well done sirs" to those two fellows.

Also, watch for Nancy Walls, a Daily Show alum who you may have spotted in the commercials as a health clinic counselor. She had a very small part but I like her so you should too. I'm pretty sure Steve likes her; he married her.

For me one of the best parts of the movie wasn't even in the movie. It was watching Steve Carell interview Steve Carell in the sneak peak the offered to The Office viewers.

If you enjoy movies, particularly good movies, funny movies or movies that people like, watch this one. Oh, and eat some sour patch kids while you watch. They're yummy and sour. Mmm...sour…

So here it is...

2005-08-18T15:53:00.000-04:00

...my blog. You have one, your best friend has one, the guy in the cubicle next to yours has one, and you don't know it but your Grandma has one under the pen name Granny Slam. It's true. If they can do it I can at least give it a try. So here we go.

To quote Semisonic, (or Green Day depending on your preference) "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end".*

Moving to the South was definitely a new beginning for me and to a much lesser degree so is starting this blog. Basically my posts are from the point of view of a girl born and raised in California, who is now living in Georgia. I hear that it's the new South but since I didn't know the old South I'm not sure. I haven't wandered onto any plantations and no one tried to make me wear a hoop skirt so the saying might be true. I have learned to drink sweet tea with everything and to deal with 107% humidity. I'm starting to call my elders "sir" and "ma'am" and I've uttered the occasional "y'all" unintentionally. It was scary. I've lived here for three years now and that means I've been here longer than much of the populous of the Atlanta area. I'm definitely not a local but I feel like I know my way around and this is home for me.

Hopefully my posts will be either interesting or relevant, and maybe sometimes they'll be both. I'd like to think they'll entertain you but if not, at least I'm entertaining myself.

*I know that's a cheesy line but I may as well set the tone now so you won't expect too much later on.